| So i think im just goin to give up on every finding that one guy its not really worth it and the one that i thought could be possible a chance to hav long term isnt from what i can tell. guys r jus to confussin they need emotional space just as much as girls do but wont admit it. im goin to be married to my job someday any way so if i die a virgin i die a virgin its not that big a deal to me besides ive been told sex its jus so over rated and bein in love well love comes wit heart aches and borken hearts and i dont want that either. love and heart aches go hand in hand wheather ua lik it or not. well peace out cub scouts. |
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| My lil bro was in a car accident and broke his neck call me for the detials |
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| So why cant i seem to find a good christan guy. Thats not an alcholic that doesnt cheat and that doesnt say "if theres one thing i could change about you it would be that fact that you wont sleep with me." Yea i also relzied or was remebered again for not for the first time that im 21 not 25 alought there are times that i just feel like i am and i dont need to really worry about it i hav a long life ahead of me. then theres been the fact that for as a wise man told me today that ive been wrestling wit letting go of ever thing and just letting God win. ive jus struggled for so long its jus been apart of me and now i relize inisde my head is a 3lb blob of gray matter and somewhere in tha 3lbs there is more knowlwdege that i really know.....well ok so i know i know a lot but jus dont want it to seem lik im b'in concended.....so im goin to actaully take to heart or head whate everyones bein saying to me for years and im jus goin to take the step off the boat and walk on the water. and im just goin to hav to take it one step at a time and start fightin wit God and not against God and the devil. well for now thats all i have to say |
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| So recentyly i was able to get some gulit and weight of my chest....well the guilt was more in my heart and in my head and the weight was on my shoulders but its just easier to say 'off my chest' which by the way who came up with tha anyway....ok well its not been easy for me these past months but the past 3 hav been pretty hard especiallly adding school.....u know wha happens when u relize that ur doing somethin tha God so doesnt like ur not supposed to keep pushing tha feeling away and hoping it jus disappears cause trust me......ha thas funny cominng from me but ive impotived on trust....anyway.....ur suppiosed to stop and relize what it is thats causeing tha feelin and then get Gods help to figure it out cuase guess wha ur not going anywhere wit out Him and i know tha for a fact......well i got to get back to my fu....stinking report.....peace out cub scouts. |
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| in association with my previous blog. i would like to that i am not stating that my friends r not important to me . what i am stating is that my friends r not my top priority and and that there are other things that i do and if u still dont get what im saying im not sure how else to state it. |
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